There’s always money in the Banana Stand

I’m a huge fan of Arrested Development. I was very sad when the series ended, and I bought the dvd set because the show really never gets old for me. Recently, I’ve been watching it with my roommate (because it’s kind of wrong that she lives with me and hasn’t seen it yet. COME ON!), and the Bluth frozen bananas inspired me to make some cookies. I briefly considered making cornballs, but I didn’t want to suffer severe burns.

So…without further ado: chocolate covered banana shortbread cookies that won’t make you sick and kill you!

This is one of my favorite food photos yet. Click to zoom in on the cookies!

The Recipe:
Bluth Chocolate Banana Shortbread Cookies
2 cups flour
1 stick butter (I used salted because I ran out of unsalted, oops!)
1/2 cup Nanners Foster sauce or 1 more stick of butter
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/3 cup mashed bananas
semi-sweet chocolate chips
cocktail peanuts (optional)

Do This
Peel a banana and cut it up into small slices. Microwave it for about 30 seconds, then mash the now-soft bananas with a fork. Alternately, use a very ripe banana and skip the microwaving. I refuse to do this because I have an aversion to expired foods, and won’t let bananas last in my kitchen long enough to turn brown on the outside. This is why you will never see a banana bread recipe on this site.
Preheat the oven to 350.
Melt the butter and transfer it to a large mixing bowl. Add the vanilla extract and the ‘Nanners Foster sauce, and whisk in the powdered sugar until well-blended. Add the salt and baking powder, and gradually stir in the flour until you have a thick, caramel-colored dough. Use a fork to mash the bananas into the dough.
Grab two large pieces of plastic wrap, and sandwich the dough in between them. Roll it out to about 1/2″ thickness and place in the refrigerator to chill for about half an hour.
Remove the dough from the fridge. Place a piece of freezer paper over a cutting board, grab a hunk of dough, and cover it with a second piece of freezer paper. Roll the dough into a large rectangle-ish shape about 1/4″ thick. Remove the top piece of freezer paper, and use a knife to cut the dough into rectangles about one inch wide and two inches long. Place the rectangles onto a baking sheet.
Bake the cookies for 7-10 minutes, or until the dough is puffed up and the edges are a golden brown color. Overbaking (or rolling the dough too thin) will result in extra-crunchy (burnt) cookies that do not taste like shortbread. They resemble dried banana chips.
Repeat this process with the rest of the dough.
Allow the cookies to cool completely. They’re very soft fresh out of the oven, and soft cookies are not conducive to slathering with melty chocolate! You can taste-test a few when they’re still warm, though. Mmmm, bananas!

Steve Holt: Maybe we should work together. I mean, we don’t even know the recipe.
George Michael: Oh, there’s no recipe. You just freeze the bananas, and then dip them in the–
Steve Holt: Dip it in the what? Dip it in the what?

While the cookies are cooling, put a handful of cocktail peanuts in a plastic baggie (or two, if you’re feeling extra cautious) and crush them using the blunt object of your choice. If I owned a meat mallet, I probably would have used that, but I don’t, so I opted for the bottom of a saucepan.
Either using a double-boiler or the microwave, melt a handful of semi-sweet chocolate chips. Cover a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Grab a teaspoon and use it to spread the melty chocolate over the cookies, then place the cookies on the foil-covered baking sheet. Or, if you want more chocolate, dip the entire cookie instead of just coating the top. Sprinkle crushed peanuts onto the cookies while the chocolate is still warm.

Maeby: It tasted like a foot. Which I didn’t really mind, but I’m pretty sure I said “no nuts.”

Or don’t add nuts, they’re totally optional. When the baking sheet is full, move it to the fridge to allow the chocolate to harden.

The shortbread cookie recipe is loosely based on the Hearst Castle recipe I found over at 101 Cookbooks. I’ve never made shortbread before, so my modifications were totally a gamble. Lucky for me, they worked out!

The recipe calls for 1/2 cup of the sauce from my Bananas (Almost) Foster recipe, which means you have an excuse to make that. Just kidding! I actually ran out of butter while I was making this, and the banana sauce seemed to be a perfect substitute. If you don’t want to make the ‘Nanners Foster, substitute for 1 stick of butter, but you’ll lost a bit of that flavor. Plus, despite what kindergarten taught us, it’s a lot of fun to play with matches.

Gob: Give me a “GOB.”
George Michael: GOB!
Gob: No, I didn’t mean for you to yell my name at me. It’s what I call a double-dipped banana with everything on it.

I also made a “GOB special” (2 cookies, stacked and smothered in the remaining chocolate and nuts):

Click to zoom in on a banana cookie that GOB would approve of. It won’t chip your teeth like a candy apple.

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