That would be kebabs, pronounced keh-baahbs, à la Flight of the Conchords.
It’s nice outside, which means it’s time to grill.
Smirnoff Ice Grilled Chicken Kebabs
small package (1-2 lbs) boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 bottle Smirnoff Ice malted beverage
2 medium-large red bell peppers
Trim any fat from the chicken, and cut it into bite-sized cubes. Place the cubes in a plastic container (the kind with a lid), add a few shakes of pepper and salt, and pour Smirnoff Ice over the top. Put the lid on the container, stick it in the fridge, and forget about it for half an hour.
Slice up the peppers into square pieces approximately the same size as the cubes of chicken.
When the chicken has marinated for at least half an hour, pull it out of the fridge. Slide a piece of pepper onto a skewer (metal is a little bit more durable, but if you can’t find metal skewers, wood is okay) and continue to fill the skewer with alternating pieces of chicken and pepper. Make sure not to put too much on each skewer – I think I ended up with 3-4 peppers and 6-8 chicken cubes per skewer, and there were a couple inches of empty skewer at each end. Repeat until all of the chicken and pepper pieces are on skewers. 1.5 lbs of chicken should fill up 7 or 8 skewers.
Time to season. You don’t want to go overboard on the spices, because (a) they’ll probably fall off on the grill, and (b) you’ll drown out the citrusy flavor from the Smirnoff Ice. A few shakes each of black pepper, garlic salt (the kind with parsley flakes in it), and basil will make the chicken interesting but not overwhelming.
Light up your grill, and place the skewers across it as evenly as possible. If your grill is like mine, and one side is hotter than the other, you may have to get a rotation going. Chicken kebabs are a little bit frustrating for two reasons: it’s hard to get even grill exposure because of the shape of the kebabs (some parts are closer to the heat than others), and since it’s chicken, you have to cook it for seemingly forever before it’s not pink on the inside. After about ten minutes, turn each skewer a quarter-turn. Repeat until all sides of the kebab have been exposed to the grill, then cut into a piece to check for doneness. Our kebabs took about 45 minutes, but if your grill is more powerful or you have some sort of skills beyond mine, you may finish yours quicker.
Once the chicken is cooked through, remove the kebabs from the grill, slide the chicken and peppers off the skewers (or eat them on the skewers, but if you’re using the wooden kind, watch out for splinters!), and enjoy.
Yes, there’s Smirnoff Ice in this recipe. That’s in there for a reason. Something about the bubbles or the malting – I’m not actually sure, to be completely honest – deposits a nice, citrusy flavor into the chicken and makes it super moist even when grilled. I discovered its potential as a marinade liquid after my graduation party, when a random neighbor left a bottle in the fridge. Nobody wanted to drink it, so I poured it over chicken (after having achieved positive results from doing the same with an unwanted demi-bottle of airplane wine). Success. You can also cook the chicken in a pan, which takes a bit less time and locks in the citrus flavor more than grilling. I just wanted to grill because it was nice out and I like kebabs.
No, you don’t have to drink the other five bottles of Smirnoff Ice. Just save them for future grilling.